When I was growing up my Aunt Reba was the Church Candy Queen. I always wanted to sit somewhere near here because her purse was unfailingly supplied with sugar. By today's standards the candy she kept on hand wouldn't fly with newer generations. I don't recall ever seeing a modern day child sucking on a butterscotch disc, but back then it was as good as a Snickers.
Fast forward 25 years to this past Sunday. Jim is basically a 41 year old child and still requires candy to sit quietly through church. We stopped at the gas station on the way and he went in by himself. Then he came out with a box of Good & Plenty, the loudest and stinkiest candy available for purchase. Black licorice is evil stinkiness and has no place in church. And since the box of candy was louder than a baby rattle, I had to beg him to take them out of the box and put them into his pocket for quiet consumption.
Then I went to the grocery store in the afternoon and bought some Smarties and Tootsie Rolls - perfect Church Candy.