Monday, April 20, 2009

Confessions of Self Consciousness

I hate to walk in front of anyone because I'm afraid they'll look at my butt which I find humiliating.

I'm in a state of paranoia after every meal that perhaps I have food in my teeth, especially when eating lettuce.

I rarely wear dresses because I feel too exposed with no pants on.

I feel most self conscious when I dress up because it seems like I'm trying too hard to look nice and everyone knows it.

I pretty much always think my underwear is showing when I sit down.

I like to shop for shoes in places where you find your own size so I don't have to verbalize it to a perfect stranger.

I have random moments of panic throughout the day that I have a booger hanging out. (Note to self: check mirror after posting)

I don't like to talk too closely to anyone for fear of having raging stink breath.

So, if you know me and ever see me gazing into a mirror, I swear to you it's not out of vanity. I'm checking for lettuce and boogers.

I will be closing this post to comments so no one tries to waylay my insecurities. Then I would just be insecure about my insecurities.


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